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* Every calendar’s days are numbered.* A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.* A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.* He had...a photographic memory that was never developed.* A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.* Once you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.* Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.* Acupuncture is a jab well done.Another candidate joke, from Reltney. “Come on up, or we’ll drag you up,” he said.The woman of the house was standing nearby, anxiously. Glenn strode over to her, grabbed the front of her dress and pulled her up so her face was within inches of his and snarled, “You liar!” He then shoved her so she sprawled out on the floor.Emerging from the hole was a girl. Fido sniffed the crotch of her trousers with great excitement.“That’s rude!” said the girl, trying to push the dog’s nose away.“Please,” said the woman, “She’s only. At eleven the guy that was our waiter walked past the car on his way home and said I told you she'd be a while and laughted as he walked off. Eleven fifteen I saw her coming toward the car, her hair was a little messy but other than that she looked just fine. I hit the door lock and she opened the door as she started to get in she pulled her skirt up to her waste and sat bare assed on my seat. I said what are you doing? She said I can't be sure but I think I either started my period or that son. "Jill, I'm sorry to hear about Tom. He was a good man." She thanked me and I gave her a hug. She smiled at me the way she has always done since I first met her when I was a kid.Here comes my moment in time. I leaned over and whispered in her ear. "I remember when I was fourteen and you were spending the night at our house and I climbed on the bed and kissed you."She smiled at me and said she remembered it, too. She asked me if I remember the time at my sisters wedding. I told her I did and she.
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