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She might smell a rat. But why would she? Wasn't this just a job for her? Pubic Relations? I shuddered at the awful word play. Disgusting. I chased th... grin off my face.No doubt revenge was part of my motives. The need for closure, too. But I loved to tell myself that there was a third, nobler, less selfish motive. I had to show her who she really was. I had to kill this silly delusion of love she had — I had to free her. Maybe just as much as I had to free myself.Was I being cruel? Maybe. "I'm. . Crap! I was fourteen today! The realization hit me with about the same intensity as my full bladder and I crawled out of the warm sleeping bag to stand naked in the middle of the bunkhouse. I scrambled around in my bag to find a pair of underwear and socks and hopped to the bathroom. At least I didn't have to go outside to get to a bathroom.I debated just getting back into bed, but finally decided I was up so I might as well get dressed and go help feed the horses. I'd done that when I was. When I got pregnant, Donny only wanted to marry me because he thought it was the right thing to do, you know? And then, when I miscarried, he only wanted to marry me because he STILL thought it was the right thing to do. He’s been a really great guy ... but he’s never been the guy I needed. He’s weak, and I need somebody who’s strong. I know I could never change him. And I don’t want to change Donny. He deserves to be the guy he’s always been. So many girls would love a man like him. Just not. So in HER mind, at least subconsciously, it wasn’t technically pre-marital sex. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true. I failed miserably because I didn’t truly understand. In hindsight, it’s obvious. And that goes back to my point about bad outcomes.”“How would you express your feelings about Michelle? Are you responsible?”“For my own failings and my own actions. And she for hers. I won’t make that same mistake twice. Of course, having said that, I know full well that I could, because I.
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