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”“But there must have been an occasion.”“Oh, there was,” I chuckled. “When I was twelve I used a particularly vulgar Russian phrase. It wa... all in jest with my friend Dale. Unfortunately, my mom heard it. The punishment was swift and severe. I had my mouth washed out with Ivory soap. I can still taste it! From that point on, I never said THAT phrase again.”“Do you mind if I ask?”“Russian or English?” I grinned.“Learning Russian is on my list of things to do, right after a sex-change operation,”. David, supported on either side, stood facing the three dance fans. The middle one called out "Enough of this gentlemen. Get our guest a chair." There was a scurry of activity, and David collapsed into a chair."And who may you be?" The guy in the centre enquired.David blinked blearily. "I am David Ogilvy. And to whom do I extend my thanks for such a timely rescue?"The man in the centre laughed, closely followed by his two smoker buddies. "I guess it doesn't hurt for you to know who I am. Frank. But I was starting to get so hot and bothered every time I looked at them. I could swear they were wearing less and less each day and the massages kept getting more and more personal. It must have been in my head. One day, after a particularly agonizing massage, I had to go upstairs to jerk off immediately. I almost blew my load while being manhandled by my sexy sisters. Just as I was about to blow all over myself, I heard the floorboard outside my door creak. I immediately pulled up my pants. I do not hold you or your department responsible for keeping me 'perfectly safe.' I am perfectly aware that we live in uncertain times, but I will not be managed by a bunch of ragged, psychopaths, out of the middle ages. Al Qaeda will not push me."Do you understand, Mr. Secretary?"I am not hiding. If you wish to beef up my team, be my guest. If you do not, be my guest for that, too. By remaining visible, available, and here, I am telling al Qaeda that they did not hurt America. They blew up a.
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