" It's a glum assessment. "I suppose that's good now though." Maybe." She's at a loss of where to go.After a period of silence she says simply. "Pleas... don't ever talkabout dying again." Okay." I appease. "I won't." I'm so sad. But at the same time so relieved. To think that youalmost died from being pregnant. It's so scary. It just shouldn'thappen."I swallow hard.I suppose Kristi's blinkered view is a reflection of her concern forme. It's sweet really.And she's right. It doesn't happen. Two women I love are going to fuck other men and not me. I worked up some feelings of humiliation and inadequacy as we sat in the lounge. I deserved those feelings for sending my girlfriends into the arms of other men; especially after the spankings I gave them.I also but to a lesser degree felt like I was turning Elsa and Cindy into sluts, pushing them to fuck other men – like a pimp. I guess some men degrade and debase their wives or girlfriends that way, but I didn’t surface any of those. Claire said.To which Anna replied “please let me watch the rude film, I’ve seen plenty before”“Where have you seen them” Stacey asked“When I stay here, there’s a load in your bottom drawer, and I’ve seen you and Claire have sex before, I was going to come into your room but I thought you’d shout at me. Can we all have sex now?”Well I guess there wasn’t going to be any persuading Anna, she was up for it already.Whilst the porn movie was playing we started to strip off, all except Anna who was. “So despite my religious beliefs you’re a secret Satanist. A devil worshipper. A dirty little sinner—““It’s really not about that, Marion. It’s a book about personal liberation, about debunking hypocrisy, being yourself, living for the day—““Pah. We don’t need any more evil in the world. Or suffering.” She then added: “I really don’t know you at all, do I?”I then got a bit cross which I know I shouldn’t have and said, “Look Marion, you’ve been totally loyal to God and how has he rewarded you? A.
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