‘Fuck them all, I don’t need them,’ I said to myself as I stopped at our old watering hole by myself for the tenth night in a row. I was going d...wnhill fast and if it wasn’t for the fact that I had a running partner who wouldn’t take no for an answer, I would have lost it. ‘Steve, get your sorry ass up,’ he yelled as he pounded on my door at six o’clock in the morning. ‘Steve, you look like shit, what are you, still drunk?’ Dan asked me as I opened the door. ‘Don’t even think your leaving me. That’s a turn on.” “Thank god for that!” I said to myself. “Does Mrs. Santa like you to call her dirty names, Hon?” I was a little shocked, but fortunately not enough to lose my erection. “Dirty names? Uhhhh……no,” I said. “Mrs. Santa is kind of conventional that way. And isn’t that degrading, calling a woman dirty names?” “You are so sweet,” she said. “Not if the woman asks for it, Baby. Elves love to be called dirty names. Didn’t you know that?” She winked at me. “And I am your little elf.”. I stayed high enough so I couldn't easily be heard. First I found Melissa & Jack's camper, and then I circled until I found Rebecca sitting in a lawn chair next to her car."There she is our little spy," I said."Is she still watching those guys?" Jenny asked."Yep. I have an idea. Maybe we should invite her to lunch?" I said, flying the helicopter home.After it landed and shut down, I re-fueled it and put a little string on the bottom with a note on it. I laughed to myself; that should get her. Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect.And, before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the moment it opened at 9:30 and to buy the cake and bring it home.When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found the attractive, perfect cake had already been sold.Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her mom.Alice was horrified-she was beside.
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